I faced that
question 39 years ago when my husband and I accepted God’s invitation
into full-time ministry. It aroused a fear. Perhaps one that had always
been there, but now, exposed. If I relinquish total control of my life to God, “will
I have what I want?”
We sold our
comfortable, suburban home in Wisconsin to become apartment dwellers in St.
Paul, Minnesota so John could complete his studies at Northwestern Bible
College. We traded in our fancy car for
the least expensive car manufactured. This new lifestyle launched 6 years of
college and graduate school, followed by multiple moves around the U.S. and
Canada. We helped plant new churches and served struggling ones. Raising a growing
family of 4 children posed continuous financial challenges.
As Charles
Dickens put it, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” It was
the age of frequently wondering ‘will we have enough’; it was an epoch of
learning about God’s promises and testing His trustworthiness. My favorite,
go-to promise was “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his
riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). When I wasn't trusting, I
caught myself worrying, coveting, lacking generosity and just feeling over-all
unsettled.
